


Jihoon's Birthday

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [14]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Cake, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Party, Birthday Presents, British Comedy, Chaos, Comedy, Disasters, Fanfiction Comedy (MICF), Fluff and Humor, Humor, M/M, Religious Humor, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24197470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: Let me introduce the mayhem and merriment of SEVENTEEN organizing Jihoon's birthday and it's party. Within, we have small people getting thrown about rag dolls, the perils of Earl Grey tea, Tom Jones records, and farmers markets, what is actually the greatest insult, dodgy fire alarms, people getting strangled with bunting, and rum mixed with fried duck. How hilarious could it be?
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Hong Jisoo | Joshua, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kim Mingyu/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Xu Ming Hao | The8, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8
Series: A Bag Of Bash For Passion [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678627
Kudos: 7





	Jihoon's Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> It was my birthday yesterday, and I wanted to write something really cool, so, here we are :)
> 
> Hit me up on Instagram at @theartoftootimingyou

"Here, I'll swing you -"

"No, don't you dare!" Jihoon yelped, been swung back and forth by his arms and legs.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Sooyoung, Joshua, Jun, Mingyu and Seokmin hurriedly got to their feet in the kitchen and held out their arms enthusiastically, beaming from ear to ear at the early morning chaos. "Don't you ever - no! Christ!"

It was Jihoon's birthday.

And he had hated the mere idea of how it might turn out. And been used as a bean-bag toss first thing in the morning was just absolutely lovely.

"What was all the noise?" Chan came into the kitchen and asked five minutes earlier.

"We were justt using jihoon like a rag doll." Vernon commented conversationally, drinking something out of a dark red mug.

"Oh, you know?" Jihoon sighed. "Just do it."

"Do what?" Jeonghan's eyebrows rose, also coming into the kitchen.

Joshua grinned brightly, and Jihoon didn't know for a moment if it was from the matter that the shortest member in Seventeen was going to hurled through the air like a toy or that Jeonghan had entered the room.

And, back to the present.

"You fuckers had better catch me!" Jihoon screamed as Soonyoung, Joshua, Jun, Mingyu and Seokmin. Seungkwan filmed everything on his phone as Wonwoo, Seungcheol, Jeonghan and Chan swung him each by a arm and a leg.

"Fuck, he flies!" Minghao called out triumphantly as Jihoon flew about five feet through the air, and crashed into Soonyoung, Joshua, Jun, Mingyu and Seokmin rather than been caught.

"Fuck, his arse got my face!" Jun called out in Mandarin to Minghao, who then translated for everyone else.

Jihoon groaned, nearly stumbling as he got to his feet. "Now, for the rest of the day, can we do whatever I want, please?"

"Yeah, just don't eat too much." Mingyu warned. "Happy birthday." He added, patting Jihoon's head.

"Why?" Jihoon asked.

"Because when Vernon frogmarches you out of the place later, we're all going to do some other stuff." Mingyu explained. Jihoon's expression blanched.

"Absolutely not."

"Yes, mate, no arguement about it." Vernon chipped in. Jihoon looked at Seungcheol.

"Come on, Coups, you're old enough to know that birthdays are just ordinairy when you're our age." Jihoon pleaded.

"Well, that sucks." Chan commented. "Seriously, get what you mean, but you should have a sort of decent day."

Jihoon took to a hidden plan. He half bent over suddenly with a pained groaned. "Someone's fucking elbow got me..." he lied as 95% of the group had a fit.

"Bullshit, mate!" Vernon called. "Look at the poser; fake tummy lurgy!"

Everyone laughed. Vernon didn't get it. Jihoon neither.

"I love how you just translated all your English stuff into Korean." Seungkwan told Vernon.

Vernon took Jihoon out. Jihoon came to find he was relieved in all honesty, just having some quiet time with the quiet-natured Vernon who now and then made comments about things that made Jihoon laugh.

"That woman looks like she has a skunk around her neck." Vernon remarked out of nowhere, pointing to a thin middle-aged lady with a grey and white striped scarf around her neck. Jihoon laughed. "Sorry, no, lemur. It looks like she has a lemur tail around her neck." They were walking down one of Seoul's streets. Jihoon hadn't really known what he had wanted for his birthday, so he and Vernon were partly having a look around weekend markets as they walked the couple of minutes to a nearby mill market, where Vernon suggested he might find some stuff he liked. 

"Oh, mate, have a look at this." When they arrived at the mill market, Jihoon had been looking through a bookshelf at a very tall woman with dreadlocks when Vernon called out to him. Vernon held a old-world cut dark navy jacket in his hands. "It's a World War Two RAF uniform." Vernon grinned broadly. "Look how lovely it's been kept -" He opened up the jacket and showed Jihoon the lining. The garment looked as though it had been made yesterday, not eighty years ago.

"How much is it?" Jihoon asked.

"£19." Vernon told him. "And it's worth about £390."

Jihoon grinned. "There's a real capitilist in you."

"Oh, my mum will love this." Vernon explained. "Her Dad collected aircraft and wartime-era stuff. We still have some of his spitfire and lancaster and beauford panel bords upstairs..."

"You know I've got no idea what you're talking about?" Jihoon remarked. Vernon shrugged, but then his eyes narrowed in on something over Jihoon's head.

"Oh, fuck me..." Vernon muttered. He pointed to some vinyl gramophone records. He plucked down a Tom Jones one. He looked at it. "There's a song on this about a transgender bloke - sorry, woman." Vernon grinned. "Tom Jones is a really famous singer; famous like Frank Sinatra, The Beatles, Queen, Dean Martin, all those 50's-80's era crooner and band guys -"

"Who the fuck?" Jihoon ruined the effect. Vernon's face fell. "Buy me that, then." Jihoon made amends. "Wrap it up when we get home." He paused. "But not that Christmas paper with puppies on it that Seokmin and Soonyoung came home with."

Vernon's lips peeled apart in a smile.

-

"YOU COCK!" Minghao roared at Chan, who had gone bright red.

"I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT!" Chan retorted.

"WHAT ELSE COULD I MEAN BY "CATCH THAT FUCKING CHICKEN, DICKHEAD!"!" Minghao nearly shrieked. They had both gone with Mingyu to a open farmer's market; Jihoon liked crispy-skin fried duck, but Minghao insisted that Mingyu get a fresh one - so they had a whole duck - and that he'd help him with the cooking. But when the poultry-dealer had gone to get a duck for them to break it's neck, a chicken had escaped because Chan had picked one up out of it's pen to pat it. All had been well until it saw the dealer coming towards a neighbouring pen with a box for the soon-to-be deceased bird.

"YOU SAID IT IN CHINK!" Chan snarled. Mingyu groaned, paying attention to the road while Minghao was blueing with Chan from the passenger seat, Chan in the back seats.

"KAMIKAZE CUNT!" Minghao turned round sharply in his seat to glare at Chan.

"SHUT IT!" Mingyu hollered. Both Minghao and Chan shut their clacks. "We got the fucking bird, everything's ok. We got the bird back from the florist girl when it ran into her stall."

"And you got her phone number, you tart." Chan remarked bitterly of Mingyu. 

Minghao suddenly burst out laughing.

-

"That's tinsel!" Joshua grinned at Junhui as he came out with a box of Christmas decorations and started fishing through it.

"Don't break the good stained glass ones that Vern's Mum gave us." Seungcheol warned them in the sitting room.

"Well, what are we supposed to be getting?" Junhui frowned.

"Bunting." Joshua elaborated.

"No, Shua, you said tinsel." Seungcheol said.

"Yeah, you did." Junhui added.

"Well, if it was any of us, it wouldn't matter if it was tinsel, but Jihoon will make comment about it." Joshua sighed. He packed the Christmas decoartions box back up and gave it to Junhui to put away.

"Yeah, yeah, actually - yeah." Seungcheol agreed.

"Anyone want tea?" Seokmin called out.

"NOT ANY BLOODY EARL GREY!" Seungcheol, Joshua, Jeonghan, Soonyoung, Junhui, Wonwoo, Seokmin and Seungkwan yelled. Seokmin had taken a liking to that recently; everyone else bar Vernon and Seokmin hated it.

-

By the time Mingyu, Minghao and Chan came back, all the decorating was done.

"Is that..." Seungcheol pointed to the now half de-feathered duck on the kitchen island.

"What the fuck are you doing to that poor creature?" Wonwoo look mistrustfully at Mingyu, Seungkwan by his side, looking faintly green and grey.

"Getting it's clothes off." Minghao instead answered sweetly before chopping the duck's head off with a clever on a wooden board. 

Seungkwan rushed past the kitchen island and Minghao and Minghao before he vomited into the kitchen sink.

-

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HOONIE!" All eleven of the SEVENTEEN members yelled as Jihoon and Vernon came back inside the apartment, Vernon smiling and covering Jihoon's eyes, before letting him see. 

Along with the crispy-skin duck, Mingyu had made a birthday cake for Jihoon. Considering it had to be a cake for thirteen young men, it seemed to be about the size of a walking frame. Jihoon couldn't help but be very impressed. Mingyu had really outdone himself. Jihoon hugged him. 

"Soft fucker." Jeonghan grinned like the devil, but when Jihoon looked at him as everyone else laughed, Jeonghan winked and blew him a kiss.

"Blow out the candles and make a wish, baby." Soonyoung insisted, feeling on his DICON recorder as they finished singing "Happy Birthday", and the boys had put a paper hat onto Jihoon. Jihoon closed his eyes for a few moments, before blowing out all twenty-two of the candles in one lungful of air. Everyone cheered. Jihoon blinked sleepily as Seungcheol cut him a slice of cake.

"That was a really nice dark..." Jihoon leant back in his chair and told Minghao. 

"Shua?" They all looked up the hall from where a crash had sounded. Jeonghan and Seungcheol rushed to check on Joshua. Seungcheol stormed back in a few moments later.

"He's pissed." Seungcheol announced.

"Oh, fuck." Mingyu summed up. He crossed his arms. "The rum was still raw..."

"Sorry, what?" Jihoon looked at Mingyu. The Tom Jones record was playing in the background.

"I forced him into tasting the batter before it was cooked." Mingyu explained. "I put some rum in with the chocolate to make it have a nice edge..."

"And you know how easy he gets fucking pissed..." Jihoon groaned. 

"Joshu, you alright?" Junhui called out.

"You're the one who thinks it Christmas..." They heard Joshua giggling. Jeonghan helped him back into the kitchen, and sat him down next to Vernon who put an arm around him. "Hoonie, hm...for you, love." Joshua half mumbled, very nearly completely spaced out. In an envelope, he handed Jihoon a birthday card across the table. "Shit we do back home..." He nuzzled his head against Vernon's shoulder. Everyone "ooo'd". "Mingyu, why does your sister have pink knickers?" Joshua asked. He completely shattered the room.

"Oh, shut up!" Mingyu retorted as Jeonghan nearly bust a kidney and Jihoon accidentally put his elbow in his cake.\par  
"And who is that gay cunt singing?" Mingyu added.

"Sir Tom Jones." Vernon commented, offended looking. As Joshua began to nearly face-plant his plate, Junhui got him off the distracted Vernon and held Joshua. Junhui didn't quite mean to respond when Joshua tilted his head back a moment later and his fingers curved around Junhui's chin, kissing him. 

"Slut." Jeonghan came over and yanked Joshua's head back, kissing him too. he nearly gagged as he pulled away.

"No one is to touch that fucking cake." Jeonghan pointed at the dessert. "How much rum did you put in that, Gyu?"

"A litre." Mingyu confessed.

Everyone lost the plot.


End file.
